I woke up early, but not as early as usual on Wednesday. I showered and W was up by the time I was done. We got our stuff ready and had breakfast at my favorite diner again, and then we headed out to Shenandoah National Park. We stopped along the way and filled up the gas tank and got drinks and snack foods, and we were in the park fairly early.

We stopped at every overlook, snapping pictures, and stopped at the first Visitor’s Center. I found the Passport to Your National Parks book, and almost bought it. I have always been around National Parks, and have been to more than most people. I was seriously thinking about buying the super duper deluxe edition, but since it was fifty dollars, I opted not to. They also had several small pamphlets describing all the trails in the park, and W chose three. The waterfalls hikes, the short hikes and the easy hikes. She started reviewing them as we drove, but she kept getting distracted by scenery, so I just pulled over and she went through all of the books, marking the ones she wanted to hike. The first one wasn’t too far away, so we drove along seeing the sights and pulling in at the overlooks until we got to the trailhead.

We got out of the car and hoofed it down the trail. The trail was described as a relatively easy hike with two overlooks. The second overlook was the end of the trail, and then you retrace your footsteps back to the parking area. It was a narrow trail, what I would call a game trail. Things were going good, it was a little warm, but not hot, and we found the first overlook about a half mile in. We stood on the rocks, took a few pictures, and then continued up the trail towards the second overlook. W was leading the way, me right behind her.

Suddenly, W stopped and let out a noise of surprise and started backing up. Then I heard it: the sound familiar to anyone who has ever seen a western movie. The buzzzz of a rattlesnake tail. I started backing up to give W more room, and she backed over a rock and fell. I helped her to her feet and we backed up a bit more, staring at the Timber Rattlesnake that she had come within two feet of stepping on. It had been stretched into the trail, but it was now coiled in classic rattlesnake position, tail continuing to buzz. I could see at least 8 rattles on its tail, and it was as big around as my forearm. We took a couple of blurry pictures, and the snake calmed down. It was still coiled and staring, but the tail wasn’t buzzing anymore.

“We don’t need to see the second overlook,” W said. I agreed, and we started walking back down the trail, this time with me in the lead. Apparently, I was not paying close enough attention to the trail at my feet, looking around at the scenery, so W took the lead again. I had my GPS on my belt, the first time I had really had a chance to use it since I bought it, and had just finished looking at it to see how far from the car we were and clipping it back on my belt when W stopped and made her surprise and alarm noise again and stopped in the middle of the trail. I heard a crashing noise, and looked up to see a black bear go crashing through some brush just off the trail and stop about fifty feet away. As we stood there, we saw another bear about thirty yards away, just looking at us. I was in the process of trying to remember bear protocol. I knew that for one kind of bear, you make a lot of noise, and for another, you try to be quiet so you don’t startle it into rushing you. The problem was, I couldn’t remember which you did for grizzly and which you did for black and brown bears. “I can’t remember what we’re supposed to do…” I whispered. W looked at me with very round eyes. “Don’t tell me that!” she whispered back. Finally, we started slowly making our way down the trail past the bears, keeping our eyes on them. After we rounded a bend and they were no longer in sight, I told W that we could now start walking quicker.

According to the GPS, we had been averaging about 1.8 mph walking in. As I tried to keep up with W, the GPS showed 3.8 mph. We only had to walk a few minutes and we were back at the car. I started it up to get the AC going, and got some water to drink. W was pacing back and forth across the parking area. I stood there, watching with amusement, and she stopped pacing long enough to yell at me. “Would you stop dealing with this so calmly so I don’t feel so stupid?!” Finally, she calmed down enough to stop pacing and we got in the car and went up the road.

“So, where is the next one?” I asked.

“Nope. No more hiking. Overlooks only.”

So that’s what we did. We stopped at different overlooks, and soon we were at the area where I had a room reserved. I checked us in, and we put our stuff in the room. We sat for a bit, then decided to do some more looking around. We went farther into the park and got to Big Meadows. W decided that we could hike there, since there were no trees or bushes to hide big animals. We walked around the meadow and only found one deer hiding in a copse of trees. What we did find in great abundance were gnats. They were everywhere, getting in W’s hair, in my eyelashes, and pictures we took in the area were covered in black dots. We decided that enough was enough and we went back to the car. We were also starting to get a bit hungry. We went back to the room and talked for a bit, then went into the restaurant.

I will say this for the restaurant: it was expensive, like I expected it to be, but the food was possibly the best I have had in a National Park. Of course, that does not include the Huckleberry Sweet Bread that you can get in the lodge at Tower Junction in Yellowstone, but that is in a class all by itself, so you can’t really use it as a basis for comparison. After dinner, we walked down a little trail to try and find the area we were told we could build a fire. The plan was to make smores, and we had bought a kit that included the chocolate, graham crackers and sticks. We found the area, but the hill was so steep that W decided to hang out by the fire pit while I went and got the car. We went back to the room and sat out on the porch enjoying the cooler temperature and waiting until we weren’t so full from dinner to make and eat smores. It started to rain, and didn’t look like it was going to let up, so we gave up on the whole smores thing.

About 3 in the morning, it was raining so hard that it woke me up. I was actually able to fall back asleep this time.

Next time… Southern Shenandoah National Park.

I woke up at five Tuesday morning. I tried to fall back asleep, but it just wasn’t happening. For one, the guy in the next room had his iPhone charging right next to the connecting door. I heard him get a text message, then go to the bathroom. About five minutes after that, I heard him leave his room, slamming the door, and the ding of the elevators right outside our door. Five minutes after that, the alarm on his left behind iPhone went off. I now know that the alarm on an iPhone will go off for thirty minutes before shutting itself off.

I gave up on falling back asleep and got dressed to head down to the street for a cigarette. As I stood on the sidewalk, I was amazed at how many people were walking around. People still dressed in the clothes from the night before, as evidenced by the two women in clubbing attire down the street talking to two of New York’s finest. There were also people in their business attire, heading into Grand Central terminal. After people watching for a bit, I went back to the room.

W was slowly waking up as I sat in the chair in the room trying to figure out how to deal with the dilemma about the car. The parking lot did not have in/out privileges, and I had until almost six p.m. before I would have to pay for another day. I had to be checked out of the room by eleven. I did not want to get the car out of parking, since finding any other parking would be extremely difficult. But I didn’t want to wander around NYC toting our luggage either. W and I discussed this after she was awake, and I finally had an epiphany. We were staying right next to Grand Central Terminal, and every spy movie I had ever seen set in NYC had somebody leaving items in a locker in Grand Central Terminal. So, we decided to get up, get ready to head out and wander over to see Grand Central Terminal and check out the locker situation. We packed everything up and left it in the room before we headed out to see the terminal and get breakfast.

Grand Central Terminal is indeed grand. The first thing I saw was the clock in the middle of the room, the same one that Melvin gets stuck on his head in the movie Madagascar. We took a few pictures, marveled at the building, and then looked for lockers. I couldn’t see any lockers, and I couldn’t see any signs directing people to lockers. So, being the smart guy that I am, I asked for information about lockers at the information kiosk under the clock. I was informed that the lockers we all removed after 9/11. Crap. I pulled out the parking claim check from my pocket and called the number I was supposed to call thirty minutes prior to needing my car. The nice lady told me that I could absolutely have my luggage put into the car without checking the car out. Just bring it by with my claim ticket, and they would take care of it.

We went to breakfast across the street at the Pershing Square café, and I was again astounded by not only the service, but the quality of the food. After an excellent breakfast, we went back across the street and retrieved the luggage from our room. We dropped it off at the parking booth and made our way to Times Square. I loved walking in New York. I finally found an entire city of people who walked the same way I do, with purpose. These people had a destination in mind, and they were focused on getting there with as few obstacles impeding their progress as possible. The signs telling you to walk or don’t walk go mostly ignored, you walk when there isn’t a car about to run you down, no matter what color the light is.

Times Square was great, they have blocked off vehicle traffic, so you can walk right out into the street. I figured that everyone there was probably a tourist, so I had no problem walking right out in the middle and taking picture after picture. After taking in the sights, we decided that we just had to go into the Toys “backwards R” Us store. I had to see the Lego’s. They were awesome, HUGE replicas of the iconic NYC buildings built out of Lego’s. The Empire State Building even had a Lego King Kong climbing it. There was an entire section devoted to Jurassic Park, which I thought was no longer relevant, but it was worth it to see the life sized Tyrannosaurus Rex that moved, blinked and roared. We went inside the life sized Barbie Dream House, and looked at the Ferris Wheel, where all the cars were based on a toy of some kind. Toy Story, Scooby Doo, Mr. and Mrs. Potato head, Barbie… all of the big names were represented. We finally had seen everything we could think of in this toy store, and headed out. Again using the awesome power of the iPhone and its GPS, we made our way down 6^th Avenue trying to find Rockefeller Plaza. We finally stumbled across it looking for someplace to get a drink and finding ourselves in an imported chocolate store instead. The fifteen dollars worth of chocolate, which fit into a dime bag, was gone before I had the receipt signed.

We kept walking towards Central Park, since we wanted to see the Apple Store and FAO Schwarz where the piano from the movie Big is located. We got to 5^th Avenue and 58^th, and took the glass elevator down into the Apple Store. We sat in the air conditioned comfort for a while, but eventually decided that looking around wasn’t necessary since we already knew most of the Apple product line. We took the glass spiral staircase back up to street level, and I realized that we had never checked out of the hotel. It was just after 11, and I was sure I was about to be charged for another night. It was way too far to walk, and even getting a cab would take too long. I remembered that when I had checked my email on my phone earlier, I had received one from the hotel offering web checkout. I stood in front of the Apple store and used my Apple iPhone to log into my mail and check out of the hotel. The money that I saved by doing that more than made up the cost of the phone. I have mentioned my iPhone a lot in this post, and will continue to do so since it is so awesome.

After that, we went into FAO Schwarz. I took W’s picture with the guard at the door, and we wandered around. W had wanted to get a teddy bear from this place, but we both decided that it was a bit too expensive. An 8 inch teddy bear was about $150. We wandered around the store and saw the Big piano, and W saw the ceramic area. This is actually pretty cool. They have a wall of unfinished ceramics, and you can purchase items, go into a room with tables and paints and decorate the item however you want. Then, they set them aside and run them through a kiln later, and you can come pick it up in a couple of weeks. They also shipped them, so that was what W decided she wanted to do for a souvenir for herself and her mother, since her mother’s birthday was coming up in a few weeks. She spent a couple of hours painting while I wandered around looking at Lionel Train sets and going outside to watch people and make phone calls catching up with family.

When W was finished, we walked across the street into Central Park. We went into the Zoo up to the part where you have to pay to get in. We wandered around the south end of Central Park for a while, but we were both getting pretty tired of walking. It was also getting close to the time where I had to get the car out of parking or I would be charged for another day. We exited the Park onto Central Park west, bought hot dogs from a street vendor, and then started walking back towards the hotel. The plan was to get a cab, but every one that I saw either had the off duty sign lit or someone in it already. We kept walking as I watched for an available cab, then I decided to look like a damn tourist and stick my arm out like I had seen in so many movies and even a couple of times in person while we were there. It worked, and we hopped in the cab and gave the destination. I was seated right behind the driver, looking at his license: Afif Jamal. The New York experience was now complete. We got to the hotel and gave the claim ticket for the car to the attendant. It arrived after about 20 minutes. I checked to make sure that our luggage had actually made it to the car, and got the GPS fired up. We drove in New York traffic again, the GPS leading us to the Lincoln Tunnel to get back to Jersey.

The Lincoln Tunnel was an experience in itself. The GPS told us to go one way, the signs saying “Lincoln Tunnel: Cars Only” told us to go another way, and the construction detour signs offered yet a third opinion. It only took one time going the wrong way to figure out where we really should go, but because of the construction and lane closures and the time of day, it took about an hour to actually get into the tunnel. We finally made it onto the freeway heading home. The drive home was pretty much uneventful, and once we got back to the house we both crashed into our beds immediately.

Next: Shenandoah National Park, Day 1.

The alarm went off at five on Monday morning. I got up and showered, and got W up. She showered while I got the boys up as they had requested. The boys loaded up K’s car with their stuff, and I loaded me and W’s stuff into mine. We all headed to the convenience store to top off the gas tanks and get traveling snacks, and then we said our goodbyes. The boys headed west for home, and W and I headed northeast for New York City.

W had really wanted mini powdered sugar donuts to go with her coffee, but the convenience store only had some weird off brand. We stopped at another one a few miles down the road and were able to acquire Hostess powdered sugar donuts, the only acceptable brand, in my opinion. After that, we headed on down the road. W fell asleep about a half hour later, which wasn’t a problem since she really wouldn’t be missing much. After about two hours, I pulled into one of the combination rest stop and travel center places to use the bathroom. Twenty four ounce coffees will eventually catch up to you. We continued on the New Jersey Turnpike, making good time. I had purchased noon tickets for the Statue of Liberty ferry, and according to the GPS, we would arrive at about ten thirty. No problem, since they will generally let you on the next ferry, no matter what time your ticket says. As we exited the turnpike onto I-78, I was able to start pointing things out to W. The first thing visible was the Manhattan skyline, followed shortly after by glimpses of the Statue of Liberty.

The ship that takes you to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty has two departure points, one in New Jersey, and one in New York City. I prefer the one in Jersey, since it is easier to drive to from where I live, and seems to be a bit less crowded. I haven’t been to the New York side, but I have to assume that parking is cheaper, and more readily available. We found a spot, the ferry was a LOT more crowded this time compared to when I was there with K a few months earlier. We walked into the station, W taking pictures of the old train tracks there, and I walked up to the “will call” window and got our tickets. We walked out and got right on the boat, and only had to wait about ten minutes before it launched. I took W to the second deck, which was less crowded than the open air deck on top, and we found a spot on the railing where we could see the Manhattan skyline. I pointed out the Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building. As the ferry departed, I got her to look back at the station from the water side, which is pretty impressive.

The first stop is Ellis Island when taking the ferry from Liberty State Park in Jersey. We went in and started looking around. Again, the place was absolutely packed, easily ten times as many people as the last time I was there. Somehow, we managed to always be with the same two family groups at the exhibits. They were remarkably similar: A mother with three or four kids, each kid with a pair of headphones on attached to the rented “audio tour” devices you can rent. These damn kids were all over everything. They pressed every single button that played a description of what you were looking at, even though they had on the headsets playing the same damn thing. They always shoved their way to the front of the exhibit, going so far as to get between the exhibit and the camera we were pointing at it. The mothers spent all of their time loudly calling their kids names to make sure they didn’t lose one. The exhibits at Ellis Island are divided into small rooms, and you can either exit back into the main hallway or through a side door into the next room/exhibit. At every room, the mothers would stand right in the middle of the doorway and call for their kids to “come on!” Nobody got past these harridans. Lines formed, and the damn kids, once they heard the shouting mother over the headsets, shoved their way through the crowd to join the harridan before the whole group shoved their way to the front of the next exhibit. We finally got tired of this and moved to the opposite end of the building to get away from them.

After viewing some more exhibits, the powdered sugar donuts wore off and we wanted to sit for a bit. We went to the café and ordered some fish and chips which were surprisingly tasty for being National Park food. We sat outside and watched boats in the harbor and the pigeons that were looking at us like we owed them some snacks. After eating, we got back on the boat and headed to the Statue of Liberty. I got to use the new video feature of my iPhone 3Gs, making a video of the Statue as the ferry crossed in front of it. After getting off the ferry, I asked W whether she wanted to go inside the monument first, then walk around the outside, or the other way around. She opted to go inside, since it was fairly warm. We had to rent a locker for W’s purse and a few other things that we just didn’t want to carry around with us, and then we went through security. Security at the Statue of Liberty is more involved than at the airport. We had to take everything out of our pockets, remove belts, jewelry and shoes to go through the x-ray machine, even though we had already done that before we got on the ferry. Then we had to go through the “sniffer.” We had to stand in a little closet sized space and have jets of air puffed at us so the machine could look for explosives. The only part that made me nervous was that there were about four sniffers, but only one x-ray machine. That meant that I was standing in a line to get into the sniffer while all of my valuables were sitting unattended in a Rubbermaid container thirty feet away. We were both cleared as being non terrorists, and were able to reclaim our valuables and clothing, and we went into the Statue base / museum.

The Statue museum is pretty neat, a lot of details regarding the history, design, transport and construction of the statue. There are even displays where they have recreated portions of the Statue using the same methods originally used so you can get a close up view of parts of Lady Liberty to get a better idea of the scale of her. I remember the first time that I went; I was surprised that the Statue wasn’t bigger. For some reason, I had thought that she was just so monumentally huge, that the reality seemed small. For instance, I knew that the dark spaces in the crown are windows, and for some reason I had a picture of the inside of the head as being this huge room, with people crowding around the windows looking out. The reality is that the face is only about 10 or 12 feet tall, and the windows only about a foot.

I hadn’t been able to get tickets to go up into the crown; they were already sold out for the two months after we were going to visit when I bought the tickets almost two months prior. But we were able to climb up the inside to where the pedestal ends and the Statue begins. In other words, you can look up Lady Liberty’s robes. We climbed up the many steps, and then wandered around the outside of the upper pedestal looking out over the bay, then decided to leave when the same damn two family groups that were making a nuisance of themselves at Ellis Island showed up and started being annoying. I was very torn between being nervous every time one of the kids jumped up to peer over the railing and hoping he would fall. We went to the gift shop and got souvenirs, then got back in line to catch the ferry back to Liberty Park.

We got back to the car, fired it up and got the AC going. I hooked up the GPS and found the hotel, and we were on our way into Mid-Town Manhattan. I had been really nervous about driving in Manhattan, just as much as I was about walking around NYC. The only real frame of reference I had to go by was movies and TV shows, so as far as I knew, you couldn’t walk down the streets of NYC without getting your pockets picked, then mugged and beaten up because you didn’t have any money because of the previous pick pocket.  We got through the Holland Tunnel, and started taking pictures. As we got closer to Mid-Town, things started looking more and more New York-like. There were so many people! I swear I saw more people pass in the crosswalks in front of me than live in my home town. We drove past Madison Square Garden, the New York Times, and a block north of Times Square. There were so many lights and signs, so many people. I was grinning from ear to ear. I got cut off by a cabbie, I laughed and grinned. I cut off a cabbie, I laughed and grinned. I got honked at by a cabbie, I laughed and grinned. I saw a cabbie nose through a crosswalk, and saw an angry man throw his hands in the air in the “I’m walkin’ here!” gesture, and I laughed and grinned. We finally found the hotel, the Grand New York next to Grand Central Terminal. I had already found that parking was valet only, and there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to turn left to get in front of the hotel. We circled the block, and managed to get in front of the hotel. I told W to grab absolutely anything she might need, and we got out. My car was whisked away, and we went inside to check in. Checking in was easy, there was a computer terminal there, and I just had to swipe the card I made the reservation with. The kiosk printed my receipt and made two keycards, and we were on our way to the 27^th floor to our room.

We took a bit of time checking the room out, and looking out the window, then taking pictures out the window, and then just taking a breather. Before too long, we decided that we were hungry and I used the reliable iPhone to see how far it was to an Italian restaurant that had been recommended to us. It was only a few blocks away, so we hoofed it down the street. We went in and were seated by what we think was the owner. It took a while, but we eventually selected our meals from the menu. The food was fantastic. While we ate, the owner dude would come and talk to us occasionally. He found out that we were just visiting, and spent about ten minutes trying to convince to move to New York. I was starting to wonder if he was going to offer us his spare bedroom. When we left, he shook both of our hands and asked us to please come visit again when we were in town.

We had a brief discussion on the street about what to do next, since it was getting close to eight o’clock, and decided that we were really tired and just wanted to go to bed and that we would do the sightseeing the next day. I kind of wish we had at least gone to Times Square at night, but we both crashed pretty hard once we got back to the hotel.

Next: The Walking Tour of (a bit of) New York City.

The weather forecast for Sunday had called for a chance of showers in the morning, then likely in the afternoon for Washington D.C. The plan was to hit Walmart again, since we forgot to get umbrellas the day before, then go to breakfast at my usual diner before heading in to catch the Metro into the National Mall.

After getting everyone up, showered and ready for the day, things went according to plan. Except the weather. It was raining when we went into Walmart, and the umbrellas were opened as soon as we left the store. It continued to rain as we all ate, and for a change, it started raining HARD on the drive in to the Metro station. When we all got out of the car, it was dumping some serious water. Umbrellas out, and we walked to the station. I gave everyone a five dollar bill to get their own train pass, and we went up to the platform to wait. After about ten minutes of waiting, I had my usual panic attack about the car; had I remembered to lock it?

I had an aftermarket alarm on the X-Terra, and it would automatically lock the doors. I still haven’t gotten used to having to lock the doors every time I get out, and will occasionally lock the doors a couple of times from inside whatever establishment I am visiting since I cant remember if I already did it or not. With the frenzy of getting out of the car, getting umbrellas opened and underneath them in the downpour, I couldn’t be sure that I had remembered to press the button on my key fob. Since my car would be sitting in a parking lot outside of DC for most of the day, and I had several things in there I really wouldn’t want to lose, I decided to walk back out and make sure the car was locked. About two seconds after I told W what I intended to do, the damn train pulled in.

I told W to get on the train and to get off at the Smithsonian station, and to go ahead and take a look around. I would catch the next train and meet up with them where ever they happened to be. They hopped on the train, and I went out to the car and made sure it was locked. Then I went back in and waited for the next one.

I sat in the last row of the train, which had the advantage that I could see everything and everyone, there wouldn’t be anyone sneaking up on me! It had two disadvantages… Everyone else was seated facing me, and there was a leak in the roof over my head that dripped on every corner. When I finally arrived at the Smithsonian station, I met W and the boys coming back in.

We left the station, and the rain had finally stopped. We started walking towards the Capital, past the Smithsonian Castle, and wandered through the Hirshhorn Sculpture Garden. It started to sprinkle a bit again, and I asked W where she wanted to go. She and the Boys decided to try to hit the National Archives, so we walked directly across the Mall and got in line. I had tried several times to get into the National Archives, but there had always been a huge line that stretched out onto the sidewalk, down the street to the intersection, around the corner and further down the block. Since it was still relatively early and probably due to the rain, the line was short. We still wound up standing outside for about forty minutes waiting to get in.

The National Archives Rotunda Room, where the documents are displayed, is small. They only let a certain number of people in at a time. Once inside, you line up in the standard movie theater velvet rope queue, and a security guard at the front of the line tries to fill the time before letting the next batch into the Rotunda by talking about the rules and providing info about the documents. Here’s how it works. There is a chronological sequence to the displays, starting on the left. You can get in line and follow the different displays discussing events leading up to the Declaration. There is, however, a catch. Once you are let in the Rotunda, any semblance of a line disappears. The guard actually tells you this as you stand in line. What winds up happening is this: You get in line, wanting to see all the displays since it has taken so long to get in you want to see it all in one visit. That way you wont have to come back to see the one you missed. While you stand in line, slooooowly moving from display to display, another group gets let in. About a third of these people get in line behind you to see all the exhibits, the rest race forward to crowd around the Declaration, Constitution and Bill of Rights. The line does not move quickly, and you pretty much have to force your way through the crowd to get to the “Big Three.” The only real entertainment between exhibits is watching for the flashes of cameras which are prohibited, and then see if anyone gets ejected. Hint: they don’t.

After the Archives, we walked down Constitution Avenue to the Museum of Natural History. We looked at the big stuff, the dinosaur bones, the big old elephant, the Hope Diamond, but we all knew that there was just too much stuff to try to see in a day, let alone trying to see other stuff as well. Besides, we were getting hungry. We went downstairs to the Café, where it is possible to feed four people crappy food for the pittance of fifty dollars.

After that, we continued down Constitution Avenue and up the Ellipse to look at the White House across the South Lawn. By now, the sun had come out with a vengeance. It was hot and very muggy. We began to walk towards the Lincoln Memorial, but J was pretty tired, having not slept well the night before and W was having some serious pains in her foot. Also, with the sun out, there was a concern about sunburn. The weather forecast had failed to mention that there would be any sunshine at all, and was in fact completely wrong about what was going to happen. W burns VERY easily, so we decided that we had seen enough, and headed back to the Smithsonian station and caught the train back to the car. J was awesome on the train, he had his headphones in, listening to the music that I had provided on his MP3 player, and fell asleep leaning on the window. He looked like a picture titled “Stereotypical Metro Passenger.” We got back to the car, and headed for home. We stopped at a Best Buy along the way and bought Fanboys to watch when we got home.

After the movie and eating leftover fried chicken, everyone crashed since we all had to get an early start the next day.

Next: Ellis Island, the Statue of Liberty, and driving in Manhattan.

Friday hit, and I got home from work and immediately started doing laundry. It was going to be a busy week, and I wouldn’t have my normal weekend time to get it done. I got all the clothes washed, and we ate dinner. I went to bed a little bit later than usual, I have no idea how long the boys stayed up.

I got up the next morning and had my coffee, then woke the boys up so I could wash their bedding. We worked on getting the house clean, and when that was done, they started playing Halo. The time came where we had to leave to get to the airport to pick up W, and they opted to stay home since it would just be an hour drive, wait for luggage, and another hour back. I drove to the airport, and only had to wait about five minutes before W was standing outside.

We talked  on the way back and finally pulled into the driveway. K was standing on the front porch when we pulled in. I got W’s suitcase out of the trunk and we went inside. They all started singing happy birthday, and there was a cake on my coffee table.

I really didn’t know how to react. It had been so long since anyone has done anything for me that I truly did not know what to say or do. I blew out the candle (thank God there wasn’t one for every year) and we got everyone’s luggage situated into their proper place for the next day and a half. Then we went to Wal-Mart. The first thing that happened… W noticed one of the locals dressed in his “goin ta town” clothes, a very large T-Shirt and sweat pants. I hadn’t noticed him, I guess I have become so used to it that my eyes skated over him. W saw and almost fell over laughing. When I asked her what was so funny, she pointed him out, as well as pointing out the fact that he was wearing suspenders. That’s right. Sweat pants that required being held up by suspenders.

K wanted to make his famous fried chicken for us all, so I turned him loose with the shopping cart and told him to get what he needed. A half hour and a hundred dollars later, we are checked out and on the way home. K got started immediately on the chicken, while J did his best to beat “Through the Fire and Flames” on Guitar Hero. After dinner, we watched a movie and everyone finally wound down and went to bed.

Next: The rainy Capital.

A few weeks ago, I was pretty depressed. I had a vacation coming up that I was really looking forward to, but it still seemed to be forever and a day away. It was taking too damn long. About that time, I got a call from my oldest son, telling me that I needed to talk to my youngest. My youngest, J, had called my oldest, K the night before extremely upset.

See, my first wife got re-married fairly quickly after our divorce, and the step-dad appears to have a problem with kids that aren’t his. Not the stereotypical mistreatment, but definitely playing favorites. I say “appears” because I only have my kids’ versions of what has happened. OK, technically not true, I also have the ex-wife’s version, but I am pretty sure that both versions are equally biased.

In talking with K, I verified that he had not been able to find work yet, and he still had the car that got good gas mileage and was mechanically reliable. I asked him if he wanted to make another road trip, and his only objection was that he had no money. I told him that I would pay his way, and that since it was a Saturday, my mother would be in the town he lives in and could give him a check so he could leave ASAP, and then I would mail a check to my mom.

I called and talked to my ex about this, since I was technically violating the divorce decree by not planning the visitation six weeks in advance. Her only objection was that she had no money, so she couldn’t pay her half. I told her I would pay for it, and at that point we were both in violation of the decree.

The boys left on the following Tuesday, and got to my place on Friday. I had pizza ordered for them when they showed up, and we ate and watched movies until we all just crashed. The following morning, I took them to breakfast at the diner, and then we went to the Udvar-Hazy Air and Space Museum. They enjoyed seeing the SR-71 and Space Shuttle Enterprise.

I realized something about my youngest while we were in the museum… While the oldest and I were walking around, we would both get hits on the Hot Female Radar (HFR) and just look at each other. My sons’ eyes would ask “Did you see that?” and I would simply nod or say “yup.” The youngest would then look around at planes or something and ask “What?” My youngest is almost 16 and has no HFR. I felt I had failed him as a father. I taught my oldest about the radar, and the second. My youngest was lacking a fundamental skill needed to successfully function in society. I discussed this briefly with K, and we decided there was only one course of action we could take. We drug him to a HUGE mall on a Saturday afternoon. It was a risk we were going to have to take.

As soon as we stepped into the mall, K and I were hit with a tangible blast on the HFR. If you remember the scene in the movie The Hunt for Red October where all the surface ships are using active sonar to try to locate the sub, imagine that, only instead of a few seconds of pingpingpingpingping it was constant. It only took about ten minutes before the overwhelming force of girls his age bumping past him kick started his HFR.

And then… I realized I had created a monster. His HFR picked up everything, and it seemed like I was going to have to physically restrain him from pointing. I finally explained that he didn’t need to point them out to us, we knew already.

Sunday morning, I went to breakfast with J since K was still asleep, and while there I asked him what he wanted to do the week he was visiting, since I still had to work that week. I offered suggestions that could be done in the evening after I got home, and also suggested that since I have every single video game system on the market, he could just play games he wasn’t allowed to play at home. He chose World of Warcraft, and we stopped and got him a pre-paid card for his account.  That pretty much had him covered the rest of the week. K and I watched three seasons of Bleach while he played.

Next post… The arrival of W and my first REAL vacation.

A couple of years ago, when I was giving serious consideration to actually leaving my marriage, I spent a lot of time thinking about the pros and cons. One of the biggest things was the subject of children. I had three kids from a previous marriage, and I knew that the current wife wanted to have kids.

I was getting older, and the thought of having another kid at my age was not appealing at all. I knew that if I were to have another child, it would be graduating high school about the time I was wanting to retire. There were a lot of things that I wanted to do in life, mostly traveling, and felt that having another kid would put a damper on that.

Christmas of last year, I had gone home to see my family. My sister had a little girl a couple of years ago, and this was my first real opportunity to interact with her. The thing that I remember most about that trip is my little niece sitting on a chair across the room from me and babbling on in her own language.  I started talking nonsense words back to her, which caused her no end of amusement, and I wound up teaching her how to do the YMCA dance. After several iterations, I realized that the entire family was standing behind me, watching. After I left, I thought “That was fun.”

A few months later, my oldest son came to visit for a week. I took him to DC and The Statue of Liberty. While we were sight seeing, I realized that I was feeling the same sense of joy showing him around and sharing the experience with him that I had always wanted to share with a spouse. I started to realize that maybe, just maybe, it was possible to have my dream of seeing the world, and sharing it not only with a spouse, but with kids, and it would be just as special. Maybe more so. I started wondering if perhaps having kids wouldn’t be a damper on the seeing the world experience, but possibly make it better. I started thinking about other people I knew that had kids, and still were able to travel and see the world. I thought about how I was envious of their kids for being able to broaden their horizons, while I never had been able to. I finally realized that it was a bit selfish of me to think sharing these things with my kids would be a detriment to my own enjoyment.

The last thing that took me by surprise happened just before the Memorial Day weekend. We were having a barbecue at work, and one of the girls at work brought her 5 month old little girl. Of course, all the women were passing this poor child around like a bong at a frat party. Once again, as has happened so many times, this little girl caught sight of me and just kept looking and smiling. Her mother was amazed at how much attention was being paid to me by her daughter. As I sat there, watching my co-workers play baby baby who’s got the baby, I suddenly realized, to my amazement, that I wanted a turn holding her.

It kind of freaked me out.

I have technically been out of my marriage for a year. It was almost a year ago that I left on the five week assignment, after which I left my wife. Except for the two weeks when I was back, telling her I was leaving and packing everything up, I have essentially been separated almost a year. It has been long enough that I have been thinking about the possibilities of getting into a relationship again. One of the things that had been bothering me was that the likelihood of finding someone who didn’t already have kids, and who never wanted kids, was very very slim. So I had to take a look at how I felt about getting involved with someone who already had kids, and if they didn’t, how I felt about the fact that if they didn’t have kids, they probably would.

Mulling this over in my mind, I realized something. It wasn’t the kids that I didn’t necessarily want, it was child support. Child support, more than anything, has been that thing that has kept me from doing many of the things that I wanted to do. I simply didn’t have the money. I realized that it wasn’t that I didn’t want kids , it was that I didn’t want kids with the X2B. I knew how that would turn out. I knew that she did not have the capacity to be a good mother. I also knew that there was a really good chance that we wouldn’t last, and I didn’t want to start paying child support all over again. I also realized that, because of the failure of my first marriage, I have never had a chance to raise a child of my own. My oldest was six when we split, the youngest was under two. My ex and her new husband raised my kids. It has caused a lot of problems in my head. Every time they screw up, I blame myself since I wasn’t able to be there for them. If they do good, I am unable to take any credit for it since I really didn’t have a big part of their upbringing. The best I could say is that I was the “cool dad.” I was the one that could relate to them better. I kind of had that grandparents attitude of “love them, spoil them rotten, then send ‘em home.”

So, here I sit, getting ready to see a lawyer in a week or two to get the divorce papers ready for filing as soon as I legally can. When the judge signs, I will finally feel like I can get involved again, and I have doubts about my decision to not bring any more kids into this world. Right now, it kind of feels like I would not be opposed to the idea, as long as I felt there was a reasonable certainty that I would be able to raise them, and not just pay for someone else to do it.

Of course, this whole thing is rather academic. You cant be thinking about having kids if you cant find anyone willing to have sex with you.

My oldest son, officially out of the Army and back in our hometown, decided he had had enough of the hometown and was going to go on a road trip. I fully supported this for several reasons. One, I wouldn’t wish that town on anyone. Two, I am a big fan of road trips. Three, a visit to me was on his agenda.

After several delays, he showed up at my door late Saturday night. We crashed, then woke up on Sunday and did my traditional “Going to coffee” at my current favorite diner. After that, we headed in to town to catch the Metro into DC. Since I had only been on the metro once before, I wasn’t sure which train to get on. I asked a lovely lady with a cooler if we were waiting for the train to get into DC. She assured me that we were, then we talked about what she was doing. She had a cooler full of drinks for the Kick Ball League. I accused her of pulling my leg, so she pulled out her official team shirt. Sure enough, a Kick Ball League sponsored by Coors Light. We got off the train at the Metro Center station, and walked to the White House. The day was beautiful, not a cloud in the sky. This would become a problem later. The Mall was packed. I had been down there twice before, and there was twice as many people around as the other times. We did the usual sites, walked from the White House to the Vietnam Memorial, then on to the Lincoln Memorial, where I had to prove to the kid that there was nudity on display in a National Monument. Seriously. Off to the sides of big Lincoln are two ante rooms that have fresco’s which display topless women. From there, we walked past the Korean War Memorial, then up the Reflecting Pool to the World War II Memorial. This place was packed! There is a big pool and fountain in the center of the memorial, and everybody was sitting around it dipping their feet in. From there, we walked to the Smithsonian Castle, and then up the street to the Air and Space Museum. I had already informed the boy that we would be going to the Air and Space museum, since I had found out about an exhibit that I had missed the last time. By the time we got there, it was no longer a question of whether or not we would be going in. I had to visit the gift shop to buy a hat. My bald head was scorched.

We went into the museum, and we went almost immediately to the gift shop. This is why I had missed the all important exhibit before, it is on display in the gift shop. I looked around the gift shop, but couldn’t see it. Then, the kid pointed out the almost hidden escalators to the basement. Down we went, and there, at the end of the long room, it was. The Enterprise. The eleven foot, plywood and vacuum formed plastic original model of the Starship U.S.S. Enterprise, registration number 1701. I have been a Star Trek fan since I was a kid, and this was totally awesome. I bought a hat, and we ate some lunch at the most efficient McDonald’s I have ever seen. Twenty lanes with registers, order, pay, walk forward, your tray with food is ready.

After eating and guzzling down a couple of Cokes to try to quench my thirst, we continued up the mall to the Capital. I had never actually walked up to the steps of the Capital, so it was a new experience. We walked right past four kick ball games going on just across the street. We waved at the nice train station lady with big ol’ hooties. We didn’t wave with hooties, she had hooties. That sentence was poorly constructed, and I apologize.

From the Capital, we walked down to the Natural History Museum. I had already been there twice, so I found a cool, dark corner to sit and try to cool off a bit. The Kid looked around at the dinosaur bones while I sat and listened to a Japanese family talk, hoping that I could catch phrase or two since I have been studying Japanese. No luck. The only thing I understood was when they kept telling the toddler no, which I would have understood without studying. After that, we went to the Smithsonian Metro Station and headed home.

The Kid went and visited some friends Monday morning, and didn’t get back until Tuesday. I had made the mistake of telling him that New York City is only four hours away from my house. To a kid that has spent about 40 hours driving in the past two weeks, this is nothing. So I went on line and get the reserve tickets for the ferry going to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. I took the day off and we got up bright and early and hit the road after snagging coffee.  We got to the ferry station about an hour and a half before our scheduled departure, but they let us go on the next one. This was a very good thing. We sat there looking across the Hudson, identifying the Empire State building, the Chrysler Building, and pretty much just looking at each other with huge grins on our faces saying “Dude, New fucking YORK!”

Ellis Island is fascinating. We spent a lot of time going around to every room, every exhibit. I love old buildings and architecture, and history. My family has a couple of ancestors that came through Ellis Island, so we looked for them a bit. We got back on the ferry and headed to the Statue. I was smart enough to get the Monument pass, so we were able to go inside the pedestal and look up the ladies skirt, so to speak. All told, it was a fantastic trip, and probably one I wouldn’t have taken if the Kid hadn’t come to visit. I cant wait to go back and actually go into NYC.

Last night, extreme boredom and a healthy desire for any kind of company drove me once more into the fray of forced socialization.  I decided to go have a beer or two, and to try out the last of the bars in town that had been recommended as place to hang out and meet people. The sports bar attached to the bowling alley.

Yup. The bowling alley. That should give some indication regarding this damn town, the bowling alley is one out of three recommended places. Don’t get me wrong, I love to bowl. I started bowling when I was six years old, and at one time I was pretty good. But bowling alleys are places you go with people you already know, not to try to meet people. The bar was nice enough, very spacious and big screens all over the place, a typical sports bar. They even have a Wii hooked up to one of them so you can drink and play video games. Guess what game they had up? That’s right… BOWLING. In the bar attached to the bowling alley you can virtually bowl. From what I could tell, the place does not get a lot of business because I watched the bartender get seven strikes in a row on the Wii. Obviously he has had a lot of practice. The first problem I had with the bar was the bar stools. The seat was almost four feet high. I felt like I was four years old again. I had to step up onto the brass boot rail near the floor, then onto the lowest rung of the stool before I could swing my ass onto the seat. I expected my beer to come in a sippy cup.

The second problem was the customers. There were about a dozen people in the place, four of which were female. Three of those were with a group that was playing darts, two guys for every girl. The last was sitting with her husband playing the trivia game. The crowd in the corner playing darts seemed to be having fun, the kind of fun you get when you are getting away with something. Like being underage in a bar. I sat and watched the video juke box playing rap videos while I nursed my beer, thinking things might improve as it got a bit later. The crowd grew, more and more people came in and started talking to each other and laughing. They were all guys. Now there was about five guys for every girl. I finished my beer and used the thoughtfully provided rappelling gear to get off my stool and went home. That was when I decided that it was official: I hate this town.

The next morning, I went to the coffee shop for breakfast, and talked to the one male waiter there, who actually has the appearance of someone who likes to go out and have a good time. He confirmed every observation I had made regarding the town. First and foremost, if you didn’t grow up there, you were an outsider and the only way you will have a conversation with someone is at gunpoint. He also confirmed that 99% of the women that he either worked with or knew because of his job were married or dating. And he also confirmed that this town sucks.

Being a glutton for punishment, and still bored out of my mind with no idea what to do with myself all weekend, I decided to waste some time. Normally, for me, this would have meant going to the various pawn shops and trying to find a hell of a deal on something I never knew existed, but could no longer live without. But there are only two pawn shops in the area, and their merchandise hasn’t changed since I got here. So, I decided to take a look at the Swap Meet.

Wow.

There were the usual people that you expect to see at a swap meet, the ones that don’t have enough for a full garage sale so they spend twenty bucks for a stall and try to get rid of all the baby furniture left over after the tubes got tied. But the thing I used to enjoy about swap meets were the regulars. The ones who are there week after week, who have a permanent stall and try to make a living out of selling shit nobody wants. VHS Tapes, old DVD’s, LP’s, knick knacks, candles with the Virgin Mary on them, rusty tools, knock-off designer clothes, bins full of dollar store items half off. There was one guy there who actually had some German WWII stuff, Nazi pins and medals, army helmets, and even a mold for making your own .50 caliber black powder ammo. That was the only tempting booth. The one that made decide to leave was one of the knick knack stalls. I wanted to take a picture of this, but the lady behind the table scared the shit out of me.

You know all those pairs of shoes you see hanging from power lines? You ever wonder what happens to them? They hang there in the breeze for months, then they just disappear. I always thought that the power company removed them if they happened to be doing work there, or the shoe laces would eventually rot through and they would fall to the ground, possibly hitting a car in the windshield. But now, I know the truth. This lady takes them. She somehow gets those shoes down from the line and takes them home. Then she fills them up with dirt. Then she plants something in the dirt, and when it sprouts, she takes it to the swap meet and sells it for twenty dollars. Twenty. Frickin. Dollars. For an old shoe with dirt in it. Normally, I would have just laughed at the idiocy of this. But there was a lady there trying to haggle a discount price for a matched set.

I weep for the species. And I hate this town.

A good friend and I have had an ongoing discussion regarding the Climate Change issue. In the beginning, we appeared to have differing views. He supported, I was skeptical. We spent hours discussing the issue, and he had a distinct advantage over me in that he was in a position to get education regarding the issue, and I was only reading an occasional article linked on Fark.com or Digg.com.

Recently, I read an article from the NY Times, discussing the views of Freeman Dyson, a 85 year old physicist who opposes the prevailing views regarding climate change. The eight page article delves into his history, explaining how he used to have lunch with Einstein, was Oppenheimers neighbor, etc. In short, this is a brilliant man. He is also a very liberal man, one who doesn’t buy into the hype. The thing that struck me the most about the article is how this eminent scientist is now being accused of being senile for not accepting the scientific consensus regarding climate change. This was very telling to me: A well respected scientist is derided for not agreeing with everyone else. This is not science, this is politics and herd mentality.

I read another article, which I sent to my friend. This one was related to sea levels, and how the premier scientist in the field was doing numerous studies disproving the claims that sea levels are rising, and major cities of the world were going to be under water soon, as described in the hit movie, wait for it… An Inconvenient Truth. My problem was that the scientific and political communities were doing their best to decry and denounce his findings, not because of faulty science, but because he dares to disagree. His findings are dismissed, no matter how well documented and accurate, because they contrast with the party line.

I am going to copy the email exchange here, since I felt that it was the best I had written regarding my views on the subject. My friend responded to my email with the link as follows:

That’s not at all surprising.  I never really jumped on the sea level
bandwagon as there’s no way to get an accurate and sufficiently large
data set to make conclusions.  The ice core data can’t really be
debated though.  It goes back hundreds of thousands of years and our
ability to measure C02 in it is quite accurate.  I don’t know what
that means as far as prediction abilities go, however.

Hell, I went to a talk by one of the foremost experts in sea ice and
its relation to climate change (Ken Golden from Univ. of Utah) and one
of the first things he mentioned was that predictive models aren’t
totally accurate because they can’t take everything into account.
Trust me, the experts aren’t the ones saying the world is going to end
tomorrow.  It’s the politicians and news media looking to
sensationalize the issue.

In response to this, I wrote the following:

I believe this more than anything gets to the root of my issues with the Climate Change crowd. On one hand, we have Ken Golden who prefaces his lecture with the disclaimer that it is impossible to know with certainty what will happen. I would be more inclined to respect the views of Ken Golden, based solely on this simple fact. Real science is being used, and the conclusions point to a trend, rather than a Psychic Friends type scenario of imminent catastrophe.
 
On the other hand, the only persons who are being listened to are those with an agenda. Typically, these are NOT scientists, and do not base much of their preaching on science. They take the pieces of science that support their view, and accept them as an axiom. This, more than anything, causes me to rebel against the idea, in spite of my intellect telling that I am responding emotionally.
 
As far as the ice core data is concerned, I agree that it is very difficult to debate the data. That can be measured and proven without doubt. What I believe to still be in question is the relationship between CO2 levels and global climate. I will admit to not having done extensive research on the issue, but I have to assume that the CO2 trapped in the arctic or antarctic ice can be accurately correlated to a specific time period. That data can be cross referenced to geological data for the same period to see what kind of environment was prevalent. For instance, it seems likely that if we have elevated levels of CO2 in ice core samples in the same time period that the geological record shows an abundance of rain forest type plants, it is not unreasonable to assume that during that time, there were elevated CO2 levels and tropical temperatures in a much larger area of the globe. To me, again, with the disclaimer of lack of research, this does not prove causation. Are the temperatures due to the elevated CO2 levels, or are the CO2 levels due to the increased volume of life present in tropical jungle growth?
 
In either case, the arguments are merely theories that cannot be proven without duplication. Computer models can only go so far, and without sustained, epoch spanning measurements, the absolute truth cannot be known.
 
Do I believe that we should do nothing until it can be proven? Of course not. I truly believe that there needs to be steps taken to reduce the level of pollutants being dumped into the air, water and earth. This comes mostly from an aesthetic point of view, I want to always be able to see the Tetons without squinting though smog. This point was driven home in my mind in the Shenandoah National Park, where I had difficulty seeing mountains five miles away due the haze in the air. The other reason I believe it to be necessary is from a health point of view. It is pretty much impossible to keep pollutants out of the food chain. Water pollutants get into the fish, which is food not only for humans, but other life as well. The same goes for ground pollutants. Plants take their nutrients from the soil, and if contaminants are in those nutrients, they become a part of the food we eat.
 
So, in conclusion, I believe that we agree fundamentally. Our differing view point comes from the fact that I tend to discredit the “popular” stance regarding climate change, since it seems more and more to follow the zealotry associated with a religion, and not science. But this does not mean that I disbelieve the science, provided the scientist is not a part of an agenda. For this reason, I turn a skeptical eye on any claims made by James Hansen, as he appears to have an agenda of keeping himself highly visible not only in the media, but to government officials as well. I see his warnings and a voice in the back of my head tells me that he is looking for a new political appointment as the “Head of the Presidential Committee on Climate Change and Environmental Studies.”

 For reasons stated above, I have a tendency to discredit the mainstream views regarding climate change. When a group resorts to personal attacks on a scientist because he wont toe the line, we are no longer dealing with science, we are dealing with politics. Lets face facts here: Saving the planet is a big money industry. All those earth-friendly shopping bags, all the clever t-shirts, all the galas thrown by Hollywood types all cost money.  Follow the dollars, and you will see the truth. I wonder how much Al Gore gets for a speaking engagement to discuss global warming? Enough to afford big houses and production costs of award winning documentaries. Why are so many sheeple willing to believe the words of a politician on scientific studies? Doesn’t anyone think that it may be possible that Big Green Al has an alternate agenda? I honestly cant think of any other Vice President or failed Presidential candidate that is in the news more than Al. Am I the only person that thinks he is planning another bid for the big chair, and is doing everything he can to stay relevant? The man is in the public consciousness, and I think we will see him “working closely with President Obama” on environmental issues.